Confessions of a Dildo Slinger

CLICK HERE for sensitive material!!-Things you always wanted to know, then wished you didn’t.

FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES, THE NAUGHTY – NAUGHTY LIST

OK this page is not for the faint of heart or anyone who is easily grossed out…so BEWARE!!!! (and do NOT try these at home!)

There are some extremely strange, very disturbing and wonderfully named sex acts. Comedians and such throw these names around a lot, but very few people actually know what any of these things are. So I’m here to open your eyes (and turn your stomach) to a very scary world! Here you will learn about the Rusty Trombone, the Dirty Sanchez, and a Screaming Seagul…just to name a few! So, without further ado……here it is, and remember….you’ve been warned!

  • Rim Job – An instance in which the tongue is rubbed in a circular motion around someone else’s sphincter.
  • Tea bag – (v). To lower your body as to dip the testicles into her mouth as the woman is tonguing the scrotum.
  • Golden Shower – The act of urinating on another person, usually for sexual gratification, or as a way of humiliation
  • Golden bath (Less common then the shower) – Where, during anal sex, one partner urinates into the colon of the other
  • Giving the dog a bath – This is a proper name for when you attempt to insert your nuts into your partner’s ass. It is so named because it can be just as hard as keeping a dog in the tub while giving it a bath.
  • Rusty Trombone – When someone gives a man a hand job while blowing in the man’s asshole

And now, we’re gonna get a lot nastier and more violent!! So, if anything you read so far scared you at all…please do NOT continue!!

  • The Screaming Seagull – When a man is having rough sex with a woman on the beach and all of a sudden he pulls out his penis and dips it in the sand and then jams it back inside her as hard as he can causing the woman to scream as loud as she can. 
  • Chili Dog – when a man defecates on a woman’s chest and then titty fucks her
  • Jelly Donut – Whenever a guy ejaculates in a girl’s mouth then punches her in the nose resulting in a mixture of blood and semen, which apparently resembles the filling of a jelly donut.
  • Dirty Sanchez – when a man and a woman engage in anal sex, then the man takes his penis and rubs it on the girls upper lip leaving a moustache.
  • Cleveland Steamer – Also known as the Pasadena mudslide, California hot plate, or simply the “steamer”, this term commonly involves some variation on the act of defecating on a chest of a lover after they fall asleep as a means of revenge.
  • Bucking Bronco – Term used to describe an odd doggy style method. The male leans down over the female during sex then strongly grips the breasts then says into the ear of the female something that would cause her to frantically try to get away (i have aids, your sister was better, where did this rash on my dick come from?, your a lot better than that cold girl i met in the morgue, etc..), then his friends burst into the room with a video camera. the idea is to stay on as long as possible while the girl desperately tries to get away, aka like riding a bucking bronco.
  • Donkey Punch – Whilst participating in either vaginal or anal ‘doggy style’ intercourse, as the man ejaculates, he delivers a swift punch to the back of the female’s cranium. This results in the simultaneous contraction of the anal sphincter and various other muscles in the female, thus producing a tremendous sensation for the male while the woman produces a noise like a Donkey.
  • Hot Carl – the act of putting plastic wrap on ones face and proceeding to take a hot steamy shit on the plastic wrap, thus letting them feel the warmth of the poo on their face.
  • Angry Dragon – Immediately after you blow your load in a girl’s mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up she’ll look like an angry dragon.
  • Angry Pirate – The act of recieving oral sex while standing up right, ending with the reciever not only shooting his sperm rocket into one of the giver’s eyes, but also kicking the giver in one of his/her shins, thereby hindering the giver with a “peg leg” and a defunct eye.
  • Houdini – When having sex doggy style, when the guy is about to ejaculate, he pulls out and then proceeds to spit on the girls back so that she turns around, and blows it right in her eye.
  • Alligator Fuck house – A daring sexual maneuver: Mid-coitus, one person bites the neck of the other, locks their arms and legs down and goes into a death roll, all while maintaining insertion. Like down shifting a car!
  • CincinnatiBowtie – When you reverse titty-fuck a girl. So your balls and cock are upside-down and it looks like she is wearing a fleshy bow-tie. It’s called “Cincinnati” because they do everything backwards there.
  • Cherry Crème Pie – A timely variation of a regular cream pie; The visual impression of a females vulva after completing unprotected intercourse during her monthly menstrual cycle.

So hopefully you didn’t eat lunch before reading this one. Sorry for the extreme gross-out, but I feel it’s important to be educated! So when someone asks if you want a chili dog for lunch…you might not want to go there 🙂

3 Responses to "CLICK HERE for sensitive material!!-Things you always wanted to know, then wished you didn’t."

kkxGCw hi! nice site!

Thanks!! It’s a dirty job, but someone’s got to do it 🙂

Here’s a new one that a particularly sick minded friend of mine told me recently:

Jamaican Bobsled- When a man sticks his penis in a women while standing, then holds her arms at her sides, throws her face down on a staircase and rides her down the stairs like a bobsled!

Now that’s just wrong!!!

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